Dr. Phil is renowned for asking folks what actions they're taking, then responding with, "How's that working for you?"
I want to augment Dr. Phil's question slightly, and put it a marriage context.
Please read & answer these questions:
I could go on all day, but I think you get the picture.
You're either making your marriage better or worse—it's never parked in neutral. Take stock of how your behaviors (spurred by your beliefs) are working for your marriage.
One of my favorite shows growing up was What's Happening!! For years I was told that I looked like Roger. Unfortunately I don't have a picture handy to prove it, but back then it was true.
Anyhoo, in that vein, today kicks off what will become a weekly occurrence: What's Happening!! Wednesday. This email will let you know what's happening with Marriage Works! in terms of events, sales, new resources, free items, and stuff about our family.
Using the picture above as a backdrop, let's assume that one week ago today the male trapeze artist was late with his swing, and missed catching his partner's hands. As a result, she fell to the net.
If her partner had a history of not catching her, it would only make sense that her trust in his ability—and perhaps his willingness—to catch her would begin to erode.
Still, if she is committed to being his partner, there's only one way to rebuild trust: put herself in a position to give him another opportunity to catch her.
While she definitely wants to keep practicing with the net, and probably should make other adjustments, she still has to give him an opportunity to catch her.
This is the only way she can rebuild trust in her partner.
Today's question comes from Johnny:
When your wife moves out to another place and she says that the reason she moved out was to get your attention? But I believe she moved out for freedom or another man.
Ladies: How often are you talking with your husband, and instead of listening, he's solving?
Men: How often do you get frustrated when you know the problem (and the solution), but your wife just won't listen to you?
Ladies: Your husband might be on to something, so give him a shot.
Husbands: even if you are onto something, your wife would prefer if you listened without fixing.
After all, it's not about the nail.
The first step is easy. The second step, not so much.
In every day life, the first step could be something taking a customer's order, showing up to a meeting, committing to a good habit, or accepting a job offer. Those are pretty easy to do. Following-through on those things—the second step—is where the challenge begins.
What are you fighting over? Something serious or something based on preference?
Bob was unfaithful to Lisa. He did it because he said he was bored in the marriage, needed a change, and was acting out of character. While there was no doubt that he hurt Lisa, he was not driven by the desire to hurt her.
Lisa was unfaithful to Bob. She did it because she was hurt, vindictive, and intended for Bob to feel the intense pain of betrayal that she felt.
Did Lisa's plan work or did she simply embolden Bob to continue his affair since she was involved in one herself?
Today is the day of the much ballyhooed Great American Eclipse. For the first time in almost 100 years, the total solar eclipse will be visible from cost to coast. Without a doubt, that makes today's occurrence a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical treat.
Eclipses excite scientists, and make us all childlike with wonder. In addition, eclipses spawn all sorts of myths, like these:
Just as there are myths accompanying eclipses, there are also myths that will keep you from forgiving your mate if you choose to believe them.
A year ago today, 30 students at West Point were injured in varying degrees after a fight broke out on campus.
One cadet suffered a broken nose, one sustained a fractured cheek, and 24 were diagnosed with concussions.
This violent fight wasn't a one-off circumstance. It had actually occurred annually since 2001. One might ask how the Academy could allow this type of fight to continue year after year without stepping in.
The reason: it was a pillow fight. Yes, a fight between cadets swinging pillows.
This is a quick lesson in how the little things have the ability to cause a lot of damage in your marriage.
Kevin B. Bullard, Marriage Works! Founder