A year ago today, 30 students at West Point were injured in varying degrees after a fight broke out on campus.
One cadet suffered a broken nose, one sustained a fractured cheek, and 24 were diagnosed with concussions.
This violent fight wasn't a one-off circumstance. It had actually occurred annually since 2001. One might ask how the Academy could allow this type of fight to continue year after year without stepping in.
The reason: it was a pillow fight. Yes, a fight between cadets swinging pillows.
This is a quick lesson in how the little things have the ability to cause a lot of damage in your marriage.
I saw a quote recently that spoke to me: "It's okay to be angry, but it's never okay to be cruel."
Depending on one's temperament and the situation, anger and cruelty can meld into one emotion.
How many times have you called yourself "helping" your mate, only to have him/her consider your help an unwanted nuisance?
It can be hard for us to comprehend that our spouse doesn't want our help, after all, we are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Still, it happens.
Our help can rub our mate the wrong way for several reasons, including the following ...
One of my favorite verse is Proverbs 14:4, which says "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox."
I like this verse so much because it speaks to the simplicity of the single life, yet the additional harvest that comes with being married.
In the very near future, your spouse will do or say something that offends you. It may be done accidentally or it may be done intentionally.
Either way, your response should be the same.
I strive really hard to make sure that the material we post on the Marriage Works! blog and social media is marriage related. Nine times out of 10, I succeed. This is one of those times when I'm going to fail, and do it on purpose.
I remember being at a football game at the University of Virginia in November 1996 as a member of the Marching Tar Heels. An ill-fated pass by Chris Keldorf was intercepted, and run back for a 96-yard touchdown. That was the beginning of the end for my beloved Tar Heels, who led 20-3 late in the third quarter. Losing that game cost us a trip to the Fiesta Bowl. It was painful.
However, that pain cannot even be compared to the fresh pain that has come from Charlottesville.
The life of a wife starts like this: a beautiful day surrounded by loving family and friends who, like you, have the highest expectations, hopes, and dreams for a beautiful life with your husband. However, as you descend from the high of the day, you have your first fight as a married couple on the honeymoon, and the routine of everyday life begins to show you what being married is all about, you realize that being a wife is much different than you thought it would be.
Arguments (disagreements, heated discussions, whatever you want to call them) are challenging because it’s possible for both you and your spouse to be right about the same situation.
Arguments are not like the associative law where (a+b)+c will always equal a+(b+c). Arguments are not like the law of gravity, which makes a baseball tossed in the air come down every single time without fail.
Arguments just aren't that simple. They’re more like looking at a cloud, and reaching different interpretations of its shape. Is it a person, a car, an animal, something else? That’s up to personal interpretation.
Sure, you could lie to your spouse about ...
You know where this is headed.
If you are addicted to your phone (or any other device that is taking time away from your spouse on a consistent basis), I challenge you to give it a break this weekend.
Perhaps your spouse has been telling you that you always have your face buried in your device ... updating your Facebook status, seeing what's trending on Twitter, pinning a photo, or reading messages from those Marriage Works! people (ouch!)