I commonly tell married folks that they shouldn’t try to be a “perfect” spouse because they can’t. It’s much better that they be a “practicing” spouse.
Still, for perfectionist like me, that can be a difficult pill to swallow. Instead of feeling joy over progress made, we beat ourselves up because we didn’t do something exactly right.
It could have been the way we talked to our mate, an action we took, an action we didn’t take, or anything that caused frustration.
The point is this: we’re not going to be perfect, and all that looks perfect is not truly perfect.
An email I received this morning illustrates that point:
You know that famous scene in the 1980s movie Flashdance, where the main character, Alex, glides across a studio, executing the perfect dance number?
It looks like an amazing performance by the actor, but, actually, this scene is the result of expert editing that cut together footage of a ballet dancer, a gymnast, a male breakdancer and, of course, actor Jennifer Beals’s face.
What does this tell us? What seems perfect isn’t.
You know the wife who looks like she’s got it altogether?
You know the husband who looks like he’s doing everything just right?
Rest easy, you’re not alone in your imperfection as a spouse.
Keep practicing, and trust God’s grace to make up for what you haven’t perfected.
Have a good weekend!
Kevin B. Bullard, Marriage Works! Founder