The first step is easy. The second step, not so much.
In every day life, the first step could be something taking a customer's order, showing up to a meeting, committing to a good habit, or accepting a job offer. Those are pretty easy to do. Following-through on those things—the second step—is where the challenge begins.
What are you fighting over? Something serious or something based on preference?
Bob was unfaithful to Lisa. He did it because he said he was bored in the marriage, needed a change, and was acting out of character. While there was no doubt that he hurt Lisa, he was not driven by the desire to hurt her.
Lisa was unfaithful to Bob. She did it because she was hurt, vindictive, and intended for Bob to feel the intense pain of betrayal that she felt.
Did Lisa's plan work or did she simply embolden Bob to continue his affair since she was involved in one herself?
Today is the day of the much ballyhooed Great American Eclipse. For the first time in almost 100 years, the total solar eclipse will be visible from cost to coast. Without a doubt, that makes today's occurrence a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical treat.
Eclipses excite scientists, and make us all childlike with wonder. In addition, eclipses spawn all sorts of myths, like these:
Just as there are myths accompanying eclipses, there are also myths that will keep you from forgiving your mate if you choose to believe them.
A year ago today, 30 students at West Point were injured in varying degrees after a fight broke out on campus.
One cadet suffered a broken nose, one sustained a fractured cheek, and 24 were diagnosed with concussions.
This violent fight wasn't a one-off circumstance. It had actually occurred annually since 2001. One might ask how the Academy could allow this type of fight to continue year after year without stepping in.
The reason: it was a pillow fight. Yes, a fight between cadets swinging pillows.
This is a quick lesson in how the little things have the ability to cause a lot of damage in your marriage.
I saw a quote recently that spoke to me: "It's okay to be angry, but it's never okay to be cruel."
Depending on one's temperament and the situation, anger and cruelty can meld into one emotion.
How many times have you called yourself "helping" your mate, only to have him/her consider your help an unwanted nuisance?
It can be hard for us to comprehend that our spouse doesn't want our help, after all, we are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Still, it happens.
Our help can rub our mate the wrong way for several reasons, including the following ...
One of my favorite verse is Proverbs 14:4, which says "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox."
I like this verse so much because it speaks to the simplicity of the single life, yet the additional harvest that comes with being married.
In the very near future, your spouse will do or say something that offends you. It may be done accidentally or it may be done intentionally.
Either way, your response should be the same.
I strive really hard to make sure that the material we post on the Marriage Works! blog and social media is marriage related. Nine times out of 10, I succeed. This is one of those times when I'm going to fail, and do it on purpose.
I remember being at a football game at the University of Virginia in November 1996 as a member of the Marching Tar Heels. An ill-fated pass by Chris Keldorf was intercepted, and run back for a 96-yard touchdown. That was the beginning of the end for my beloved Tar Heels, who led 20-3 late in the third quarter. Losing that game cost us a trip to the Fiesta Bowl. It was painful.
However, that pain cannot even be compared to the fresh pain that has come from Charlottesville.
Kevin B. Bullard, Marriage Works! Founder