By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Emily A. Schmitz
Did you ever wonder why some people find the perfect person to marry, do so, and enjoy a love affair that lasts a lifetime? On the other hand, some marry a person that is wrong for them now, wrong for them tomorrow, and wrong for them for a lifetime? What’s the difference? Why do some succeed at love and marriage where others fail?
I commonly tell married folks that they shouldn’t try to be a “perfect” spouse because they can’t. It’s much better that they be a “practicing” spouse.
Still, for perfectionist like me, that can be a difficult pill to swallow. Instead of feeling joy over progress made, we beat ourselves up because we didn’t do something exactly right.
I hope you had a great weekend.
In today's email I want share a few of items from the Start-Stop-Continue exercise I've been writing about.
First, I mentioned in the previous email that I stuck my foot in my mouth while doing this exercise. I messed up by bluntly telling Cetelia that I did not want to do anymore dinner dates with her. The reason: I wanted us to do more engaging activities (gun range, archery, dancing, zip lining, etc.).
A few days I wrote to you about the Start-Stop-Continue exercise. Its purpose is to help you discover and practice the attitudes and behaviors that are going to be most helpful to your marriage.
Cetelia and I have gone through Round 1 of this exercise for our marriage, and it led to some excitement about what we plan to do this year, as well as a foot-in-the-mouth moment by me. I'll tell you about that verbal miscue next week.
Have you done the Start-Stop-Continue exercise yet? If not, what are you waiting for?
Kevin B. Bullard, Marriage Works! Founder