Arguments (disagreements, heated discussions, whatever you want to call them) are challenging because it’s possible for both you and your spouse to be right about the same situation.
Arguments are not like the associative law where (a+b)+c will always equal a+(b+c). Arguments are not like the law of gravity, which makes a baseball tossed in the air come down every single time without fail.
Arguments just aren't that simple. They’re more like looking at a cloud, and reaching different interpretations of its shape. Is it a person, a car, an animal, something else? That’s up to personal interpretation.
Arguments between you and your mate are just like that.
You look at the same situation, yet come up with different interpretations based on your past, your perspective, your motives, your mood, your stress level, and how you currently feel about your mate.
What that means is it’s entirely possible for you and your mate to both be right about the same situation no matter how much you disagree.
While the truth is always the truth, and a lie is always a lie, everything else is a bit fuzzy.
Keep this in mind the next time you and your mate get into it. Realize that just as much as you’re correct from your perspective, so is your mate from his/her perspective. Work hard to get to the truth instead of letting warring perspectives keep you caught up in a constant battle of the shape of the cloud.
See you Monday -
PS - It's definitely Winnie the Pooh!
Kevin B. Bullard, Marriage Works! Founder